Assumption:
(a) Cafe racers s*ck. This is America, not Europe. Remember -- Dwight Eisenhauer and his vaunted interstate highway system? Do any of us want to ride for days in a way that points our rear ends up towards the planet Pluto? That knocks out Jesse James and OCC.
(b) If it is not even close to street legal -- it is a toy, not a motorcycle, No headlight? No tail light? That knocks out OCC. Again. Bonus points to Gas Monky for riding their machine all the way in. They did get written up for a vertical license plate. (And had to see an audiologist for tinnitus.) But, at least they had one.
(c) Steepo stubby front ends bl*w. If you want to build a dirt racer -- fine, just stay off the street with that fork that looks like it got stoved in from a curb. Or do you wanna visit Speed Wobbel (sic) City? Just after After Deadmans Curve? And watch all our insurance rates go up? That knocks out Jesse James. Again.
(d) A deadline is a deadline. Note the use of the word "dead". Jesse James was not done. And OCC used a producer-wimp-out-deadline extension to do more work on their bike. That is almost as wimpy as JJ's perpetual whining about anything and EVERYTHING. They are both knocked out, yet again.
(e) This competition is supposed to be the Ne Plus Ultra.in Gearheadom. Gas Monky's theme of original vintage is the right direction -- but they needed to step up their game. Like about 40 stories, ya think. The ideal hot rod retro ride would have had a 1963 (only year with twin external oilers) Panhead engine stuffed into a VL frame, with XA springer front end , and a Baker 6 speed into four tranny . Plus a dual carb conversion would have been nice. I like what they did do. But for this contest they could not get the quick rebuild-and-flip mentality out of their mind. The result is just not trick or sick enough.
(f) Points off to Paul Jr.'s for annoying fakery. The four exhaust pipes pipes assume a four cylinder engine. Not a mere twin. Why not use all that engineering capability to build an inline Four with Milwaukee-vintage jugs and heads. I know just the shop across town that could water-jet and CNC-whittle the crankcase out of billet. Oops. I forgot. You are not on speaking terms.
My Winner? Paul Jr's. Kind of by default. Its styling is a love it or hate it proposition. If they had used an inline four cylinder engine it would have been a home run.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
A: Grover Norquist
Q: Who is the evil Muppet illegitimately spawned by Ebenezer Scrooge and Leona Helmsley?
Sunday, December 9, 2012
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