12. You use dehumidifier condensate to flush toilets-- and pray for heat waves.
11. You have an annual spending budget. It is zero
10. You roll your own cigars from dust bunnies
9. You consider electric shaver cleaning a good time to harvest dietary protein
8. You try to plumb your sewer ducts into your propane tank
7. You make flies into pets by pulling off their wings.
6. Your idea of a mid-winter romantic blazing fire is to turn up the quartz heater a notch.
5. Your have health insurance under the YGSYD program ( You Get Sick, You Die )
4. You try to excise your glioblastoma multiforme with a brace and bit, dental mirror and quart of novacaine.
3. You lift weights so you can steer your truck while coasting with the engine off.
2. You recycle toilet paper. As dinner knapkins. And…..
(drum roll)
1. The medial report comes back ands it says ….your epidermis is chert.
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