Cheatah

What's the Boston lawyer call her house cat?

Suboxone

What did the dope fiend order at the sandwich shop?

Top ten reasons why I am a luddite

Ten. I took my Harley to the dump because it had no kickstarter

Nine. I think telecommunications is smoke signalling

Eight. And advanced telecommunications media is semaphores

Seven. To me, digital is counting on one’s hands

Six. My computer software runs on morse code

Five. My word processor is a chisel and a stone tablet

Four. The only control setting on my air condtioner is the wall plug

Three. I use dehumidifier condensate to flush toilets

Two. My GPS is a roadmap and a wet thumb…and…drum roll please..

One. To me “search engine” means “check the V-8 for a drug stash”

A real brane

What did the classmates call the astrophysicist prodigy?

iHop

What's Apple's new pancake parlor for rabbits and kangaroos?

Back end loaded

What's the financial equivalent of junk in the trunk?

Hootnanny

What do you get when you cross an owl with an au paire?

Why a water logged Judy Carne quit Laugh In

1. It may be epic to you, but it’s saga to me (bucket splash)

2. It may be rice wine to you, but it’s saki to me (bucket splash)

3. It may be receptacle to you, but it’s socket to me (bucket splash)

4. It may be sustenance to you but it’s succor to me (bucket splash)

5. It may be soul to you but, it’s psyche to me (bucket splash)

6. It may be chump to you bit it’s sucker to me (bucket splash)

7. It may be damp to you, but its soggy to me (bucket splash)

8. It may be football to you, but it’s soccer to me (bucket splash)

-- Rowan and Martin (and me)

Apostasy

What is heresy kicked up a notch?

Plutocrat

What's a rich dog from the former planet?

i-Ota

What's the new italian breakfast cereal from Apple?

Potty mouth

Whats is marijuana-induced halitosis? Or, what's a house plant that talks trash?