St Peter: So, welcome to the Pearly Gates, Johnny.

We have new rules -- you have to very rich to get in here,

So how rich are you Johnny?

Johnny:

I am so rich I get a new Bugatti Veyron when the ash tray is full. And I chain smoke.

I am so rich I could pay off the US Debt from my IRA.  If I were not dead

I am so rich I could buy all Donald’s toupees. And make him promise, no new ones

I am so rich I could get the Space Station plated in platinum. Better yet,  whittled from solid.

I am so rich I could give every Chinese a brand new  Oprah car. Every day. Every year.

I am so rich I could bribe every ebola virus to mutate into medical marijuana.

I am so rich I could increase all my ex-wives' divorce settlements 

No wait -- I am not THAT rich.