Cornish game hen. What did the dummy think was a really underfed chicken?

Skin in the game. What's a new Olympic sport for human taxidermy?

I'm getting tired. What did the excited Ford say is it neared the end of the assembly line?

I'm getting tired. What did one overworked Goodyear factory worker say to the other?

Bulls and bears. What does the vegan stock Market Trader have nightmares about?

Notches in the bedpost. What's in the termites Hall of Fame?

Pie in the Sky. What happened after the tornado hit the Pizza Factory?

I've got all the time in the world. What did the herb hoarder  say?

I've got a frog in my throat. What did one amphibian cannibal say to the other?

Cat got your tongue. What happened after you participated in the first inter-species organ transplant?

Lower the boom. What's it seem like the Federal Reserve always wants to do?

Big noise from Winnetka. What happened after someone tried to light a fart at a Midwest fireworks Factory?

Fell off the wagon. What did they say about the drunken Stagecoach driver?

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. What did the drunkard say to his reluctant girlfriend?

Wait, Watchers. What did the Peeping Tom say to his fellow night time joggers?

A hot mess. What's the Florida cafeteria chain without air conditioning?

Tootsie Rolls. What did the candy magnate call his fancy Town Car?

Jawbone of an ass. What was the weapon to Samson and a body part of Trump?

We're on a roll. What did one hot dog say to another?

You've got a lot on your plate. What did the envious hungry land cannibal say to his colleague?

Tulane University. At what college do they hate superhighways?

I will brook no compromise. What did the intransigent river say to the stubborn stream?

The Tower of Babel. Where do compulsive talkers live?

Coupe de Gras. What does a French lawnmower do?

Breaking up is hard to do. What did one drifting continent say to the other?

The cold hard truth. What do you get when you add sodium pentathol to your Popsicle mix?

Westward Ho. What did you tell your garden tool that wants to see the Pacific Ocean?

Kissing your dog. What's the equivalent of licking the toilet bowl?

Sing Sing prison. Where did Alan Freed go after being convicted of Payola?

Love is Blind. What happened after Courtney and Darlene forgot to take their glaucoma meds?

The jury is out. What happened when 12 people tried to slide into Home Plate at the same time?

No rhyme nor reason. What happened after the dummy tried to become a poet and a philosopher at the same time?

The Platters The Coasters and The Loving Spoonful. Name three vocal groups in the table setting Hall of Fame?

The planet Pluto. What orbits Sirius the dog star?

Chicken Little. What did the dummy call a Cornish game hen?

Guitar , ice and nose. What are three kinds of picks?

Couldn't see the forest for the trees. What happened when Mr . Magoo became a lumberjack?

The big band era. When did elastics rule the world?

One two punch. What was the mathematicians favorite drink?

A rolling stone gathers no Moss. Explain why Mick Jagger does not have a herbarium.

It's about time. What was a ruminating Einstein once heard to say?

General Store. Where can you shop for MacArthur Eisenhower Patton and Mattis?

Business is booming. What did the successful fireworks Factory report?

China Syndrome. What do you get from eating off fine porcelain?

Kelvinator. Who is first cousin to the Governator?

Leaning Tower of Pisa. What's the Tower of London pushed over a notch?

Hobby horse. What's  a rocking chair kicked up a notch?

Hobby horse. What's  a rocking chair kicked up a notch?

Rocking chair. Where did Chuck Berry spend his declining years?

Penny Lane. granddaughter of dollar bill?

Abbey Road. Who is Lois Lane's half-sister?

Clockwork Orange. What happened after vandals got loose in the gear Factory?

The missionary position. What is tantric yoga kicked down a big notch?

Hully Gully. What's left after eating popcorn in a riverbed?

The twist. What do tornadoes, barber poles and drill bits have in common?

Sock hop. Where do rabbits in anklets go to dance?

Catnip. What does your Fluffy carry around in her hip flask?

Tiger lily. What happened after the dog tooth Violet took steroids?

Kidnapping. Describe your daughter sleeping in the afternoon?

Home invasion. What's carjacking kicked up a notch?

Carjacking. What's step one in fixing a flat tire?

,

Boob tube. What's the new show on the Playboy Channel?

Split personality. What do banana desserts and fireplace logs have in common?

Good enough for government work. What was the designer of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge heard to say?

Point man. Who's the new superhero that's a pencil in ordinary life?

Gravely ill. What did you say when your two wheel tractor broke down?

Onanism. What's the worship of home generators called?

Indian burn. What'd they call the big fire on the reservation?

Shrinking violet. What's in your psychiatrist's corsage?

Gun-shy. What do you call a bashful assault rifle?

Ambulance chaser. What do you down after that fire truck hi ball.?

Quaalude. Who's the new bird star in the p*** industry

Dead men tell no Tales. Why did the zombie novelist have to find a new line of work?

The no Spin Zone. What did the super glue flood turn the yoyo factory into?

12 story building. What do you call a library that has only a dozen books?

12-step program. Why are you go if you need help with compulsive stair climbing?

Nightclub bouncer. What's the rubber ball moonlight as?

Breakfast of Champions. What do cannibals start off the day with?

Dialing for Dollars. What's drop a dime kicked up a notch?

Honk if you're horny. What did the bugle say to the goose?

Demolition derby. What's the headgear for the wrecking ball operator?

Salt of the earth. What does the hypertensive planet have too much of on its food?

Cat call. What do telephones like for chinese lunch?

Rec room. Where do you wait in a junkyard?

Bell pepper. What did they serve for lunch at ding dong School?

American Chopper. What did the Patriot rename is Cuisinart?

Cauliflower. What do telephones like to wear as a corsage?

Knuckle sandwich. What's the cannibals favorite finger food?

Hooligans. What was the name of the all owl baseball team?

Crunch time. What did the candy bar and the wristwatch call they're first born?

Shoe horn. What plays in an apparel orchestra?

Peking Duck. What did you call out when someone took potshots at the Chinese City?

Count down. What British royalty is also known as the Duke of ducks and geese?

Shoe tree. What holds Footwear and grows in an apparel Forest?

Law practice. What never makes perfect?

Asteroid belt. What holds up the astronomers pants?

Time Heals all wounds. Why did the osteopath wrap your broken arm in a magazine?

Pass the bar. What's impossible for the wino to do?

Oil on the water. What happened when the truck carrying salad dressing went off the bridge?

Constant Comment. What's the beverage of manic conversationalists?

The buck stops here. What did one doe in estrus say to another?

Boston Post Road. Where do frequent bloggers live?

Home sweet home. Where are Splenda and Stevia shacked up at?

Gallup poll. What's outside the race horses Barbershop?

Solar panel. What did the Sun Betelgeuse and Alpha Centauri sit on?

Fortune 500. What did the dummy think was a lot of money?

Three sheets to the wind. Describe the hobos sailboat.

Sperm bank. Where did Moby Dick keep his money?

Bipolar. What malady does every planet have?

Taken to the wood shed. What did the lonely log hope for?

Paradise. What do you shoot craps with?

Sunshine. What's illegal booze made during the day?

A real tongue twister. What'd the dentist say when he found a tornado in your mouth?

Tandem bicycle. What did the Minotaur have to ride?7

A riveting story. What did Rosie call her training manual?

Drill baby drill. What was the war cry of the overzealous dentist?

Dodgeball. Where did Lee Iacocca dance like Elaine Benes?

Hi 4. How do smurfs greet each other?

Cat got your tongue. What happened after fluffy needed an oral organ transplant?7

Paola. What do the Nickelodeon in the Jukebox have in common

Capital punishment. What happened after Albany was really naughty?

Joint venture. What'd the new marijuana company call itself?

Stop waffling about it. What did you tell the indecisive breakfast cereal?

Hail Mary pass. What goes on in the dating bar around closing time?

That's a wrap. What were the dying words of the urban musician?

The u.s. mint. What did Donald Trump call his herb garden?

Catcher in the Rye. Describe Yogi Berrah falling in a swimming pool of liquor.

Cauliflower. What did the geneticists get when they crossed they crossed a long-haired dog with a rose bush?

Chinese fire drill. What do they very often conduct in Beijing skyscrapers?

A salt and Battery. Who inspired the movie The Odd Couple?

Monster Mash. What was Godzilla's favorite potato recipe?

An apple a day. What was the car crusher's favorite daily snack?

Roquefort. What's the world's largest building made out of cheese?

Baby shower. What happened after the tornado hit the nursery?

Rain of Ruin. What happened after the tornado hit the junkyard?

Tap & Die. What did you hope the evil dancer would do?

No Spin Zone. Where did the hoarder keep all his broken record players?

Funny Farm. Where do comedians go for Rehab?

Waco Texas. Where were Fruit Loops invented?

Lost my keys. What did Mozart say after they stole his piano?

Motel 6. Where do traveling numerologists stay?

Motel 6. What's Holiday Inn kicked down a notch?

Dog days of summer. When do Rover and Fido get their vacation?

Baked Alaska. What's the new consequence of global warming?

Gun-shy. What do you call a bashful assault rifle?

Life on Mars. What'd you say when cooties find a home in a Hershey bar?

Home sweet home. What do cooties fondly call their new residence?

Splitsville. Where do banana deserts live?

Chicken fried steak. What food's got an identity crisis?

Dirty laundry. What'd the paparazzi catch Mr. Clean wearing?

All wound up. What happened when the alarm clock drank too much coffee?

Shooting fish in a barrel. How did Mr. Magoo get seafood for his hungry family?

The devil you know. Who lives in The onferno next door?

Rubber room. Where did senile Charles Goodyear finally end up?

The Whig party. Who thought toupee's should be given the right to vote?

Blind alley. What was Helen Keller's first address?

The final solution. What did the drunkard call his 40th mixed drink of the night?

Pie in the sky. What did Amelia Earhart like to eat for lunch?

Mile high club. What do you call a very very long sheleighly?

7-Eleven store. Who sells only lucky numbers?

Steering committee. What caused the Queen Mary's very erratic route??

Lumber along. What does a very slow moving log truck do?

Jumbotron. What's the next thing that physicists are looking for after the Higgs boson?

Jackfruit. What did Kennedy have for breakfast?

Days of Wine and Roses. What did the alcoholic gardner dream about?

Rude Awakening. What happens after impolite sleep?

Egg him on. What did one pugnacious rooster do to the other?