Gun-shy. What do you call a bashful assault rifle?

Life on Mars. What'd you say when cooties find a home in a Hershey bar?

Home sweet home. What do cooties fondly call their new residence?

Splitsville. Where do banana deserts live?

Chicken fried steak. What food's got an identity crisis?

Dirty laundry. What'd the paparazzi catch Mr. Clean wearing?

All wound up. What happened when the alarm clock drank too much coffee?

Shooting fish in a barrel. How did Mr. Magoo get seafood for his hungry family?

The devil you know. Who lives in The onferno next door?

Rubber room. Where did senile Charles Goodyear finally end up?

The Whig party. Who thought toupee's should be given the right to vote?

Blind alley. What was Helen Keller's first address?

The final solution. What did the drunkard call his 40th mixed drink of the night?

Pie in the sky. What did Amelia Earhart like to eat for lunch?

Mile high club. What do you call a very very long sheleighly?

7-Eleven store. Who sells only lucky numbers?

Steering committee. What caused the Queen Mary's very erratic route??

Lumber along. What does a very slow moving log truck do?

Jumbotron. What's the next thing that physicists are looking for after the Higgs boson?

Jackfruit. What did Kennedy have for breakfast?

Days of Wine and Roses. What did the alcoholic gardner dream about?

Rude Awakening. What happens after impolite sleep?

Egg him on. What did one pugnacious rooster do to the other?