Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Top 14 reasons I’m a boring dummy snoozer

14. My dream date is sharing a vanilla pablum and a Casper milque toast with Plain Jane.

13. I play drums in a rock and roll bland.

12. Entertainment? I watch my old B&W TV with knobs for hours. Sometimes I even turn it on.

11. I write programs in BASIC.

10. I floss hourly.

9. My IQ equals my BMI.

8. My favorite protein is parboiled veal.

7.I drive a tricked-out cut-down custom unicycle

6. I dream in ones and zeros.

5. My preferred form of R&R is stupor.

4. I went to rehab for obsequious training.

3. I am nostalgic for static snow on TV.

2. I prefer velcro over shoelaces, zippers and door latches.

And (drum roll roll please)

1. I fly in an air- plain.

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