Top ten reasons to be cell phone adverse

10. Walking’s better exercise than calling a tow truck
9. Your mother-in-law has you on speed dial
8. EMP from a terrorist nuke could happen at any time now
7. Using semaphores helps build your upper body
6. Texting is more fun using alphabet soup
5. Mental telepathy does not drop calls
4. At least your hottie can’t dump you via SMS
3. Your parole office can’t track you
2. QR codes are soo mysterious. Why spoil that? and
(drum roll)
1. Smoke signaling is very retro kool.