Stand up comedy part two

What do Eastern Europeans store their money in? Pole vault.

What's the difference between real and fake sandpaper. True grit. 

What did the quadriplegic say when he couldn't answer your question. I really don't know. I'm stumped.

Pepperoni. What do you get when you cross a spice with a pasta. 

A: orange Julius Q:what happened when Caesar over did the tanning lotion

Musical chairs. What did you sit on at the band concert. 

Valve seats.  What do they have in the waiting room of the plumbing supply house?

What do an elephant and an elm store their belongings in. A trunk.

Flatten the curve. What's another name for breast reduction surgery .

I was in my airplane.  The tower radioed to me that I could take off.  So I parked the plane, went to the store and stole some bug spray.

Hopscotch. What do they call the new liqueur made from  beer. 

A load of bull. What do you haul  to the stockyard in a semi.

Semi.  What did the counterfeiter haul his fake half dollars around in.

He got hammered. What happened to the alcoholic nail when it went into a bar. 

Father Time got into a fist fight. It didn't go well. He really got clocked. 

What happened to the scared skillet. It got panicky. 

They just invented a new month. But it's very short. The last day is the twelfth of Never. 

I went to the town green for a stroll.  But they had a sign there that said no parking. So I went home. 

What did the projection and the protuberance do last Sunday. They went on an outing.

Cold Storage. What happened when Ole Man Winter moved into your spare closet. 

Jailbait.  What did the adult penitentiary think of when he looked at the cute teenaged house of correction? 

Flatten the curve. What did the epidemiologist learn in geometry class.

What did the aging pin up girl say when she looked down at her chest. Flatten the curve.

Zoom video. What is TV really speeded up? 

Remote learning.  What what goes on in  the school at Tierra del Fuego. 

Quail Run.  What's the name of the local bird marathon. 

Warren Buffett. What happened around lunch time at the Rabbit Hotel

Loaf tea aspirations. What did the lazy beverage have.

Pinnacle. What's another name for the top of Needle Mountain.

Forbearance. What did the mama who gave birth to quadruplet cubs have.

Rouge and Tripoli. Name two Polish cities.

Polish polish. What's the last step at the Warsaw car wash.

Hellmann's. What does the devil put on his sliced turkey sandwich.