So how windy is it, Johnny?

It’s so windy my whirlygig went supersonic

It’s so windy the new Boeing Dreamliner took off from LAX…backwards

It’s so windy Alice Kramden zoomed to the moon ..on her own

It’s so windy Mt Baldy got its toupee blown off

It’s so windy a tumbleweed did a smash and dash on a 7-11 in Pacoima

It’s so windy you can actually see across the street in Pasadena

It’s so windy my umbrella got twisted and tortured into Desmond’s tutu

It’s so windy a wet noodle impaled itself in the bronze bust of General MacArthur

It’s so windy my aeolian pipe organ is playing on its own.