Monday, November 17, 2014

Eight reasons I think I am Jesus Christ

8. I go to a frozen pond every February. And walk on water

7. My bread machine went berserk,  turned out 4,000 loaves

6. I went to Costco. Found tuna cans big enough to feed thousands

5. People say my name after the hammer misses.

4. My Dad’s viagra ran out – he tried immaculate conception.

3. Hot cross buns give me memory pains in my palms.

2. My hoodie got tangled in a rose bush – crown of thorns

(drum roll)
 1. Every time I pass a manger, I suck my thumb

Pah-dum-pum

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