Philco predicta. What did Nostradamus have for a TV? 

Hail hail the gang's all here. What did one festive ice ball say to another?

 Donald Trump. Who should go back to manufacturing playing cards?

Donald Duck. What did you say when someone took a potshot at the Pres?

Musical chairs. What do orchestras sit on?

20th Century Fox. What do you call a rather old vixen?

Proboscis monkey. What was Jimmy durante's great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great  grandfather?

Summer squash. What do you get  when June July and August get run over?

Cherry tomato. What fruit has an identity crisis?

Pig pen. What writing instrument has an identity crisis?

Sinbad the Sailor. Who was too often wrongly accused?

City and eastern. What should they call rap music?

Trade Wars. What happens when you barter Crimean for civil?

Def Leppard. What big cat forgot to wear hearing protection?

Chinese checkers. Who are Oriental and do quality control?

Caine Mutiny. What happens when sugar got rebellious?