Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Top Ten Foods To Avoid On The First Date

10. Cabbage - lovely sauerkraut scented belches will follow

9.  Spinach – for a smile like a spotty green compost pile

8. Lobster – requires messy on-table insect dissection– how fetching

7. Blueberry buckle – give your teeth a mauve and purple rainbow

6. Garlic – the resultant stink doubles as vampire protection

5. Cherry tomatoes – stab and they erupt with messy juice and seeds

4. Oysters on the half shell – think, slimy mucous into your mouth

3. Baked beans – pretend you’re an old fa*t and smell like one

2. Spaghetti with marinara sauce – help grow a tomato sauce beard on your shirt

And…


1. Sweet breads – perfect for grossing out vegans, PETA members and normal carnivores


No comments:

Post a Comment