Top ten Octogenarian taunts and retorts

You were born before the age of electronics.
You were born before the age of anesthetic.

Better no hair than blue hair.
Better peach fuzz than billiard ball.

Your memory is toast.
Your memory is burnt toast.

My cane is faster than your walker
My chair lift is fast than your stair climber.

You still read books.
You still fetch water.

You are on dialysis.
You are on psychoactive drugs.

You take your teeth out at night.
You put your hair on in the morning.

Your mother wore combat boots.
Your mother wore a chastity belt

You shouldn’t drive a car.
You shouldn’t make toast.

….and……

You need blue pills to perform.
You need a ventilator to breathe.