Top ten reasons you should shop at the mall instead of online

10. You get cookies you can actually eat

9. Jeff Bezos is filthy rich already

8. Overworking UPS creates jobs

7. You push a real shopping cart – good exercise

6. Instant free food court samples..try that via FIOS

5. Serendipity way more quaint than Google search

4. Mall germs help restock your healthy gut flora

3. Pathetic JC Penney deserves a fighting chance

2. No frustrating 404 error messages .....and......

.......

1. Grainy security video could make you famous