10. The kids’ Shake Til Awake alarm clock you were testing didn’t work.
9. Shopped for all twelve days of Christmas gifts. At Walmart. Christmas eve.
8. All your 1400 dinner guests would need food to eat, you realized. At 3 AM.
7. That Airwick spray can from Ebay was really an Army surplus sleep induce weapon
6. You had Christmas Eve punch made by Bill Cosby
5. You stowed away on Santa’s sleigh. Got wicked jet lag
4. Watched that Chevy Chase movie 19 times, bored yourself into a stupor.
3. You tried a new reverse caffeine elixir in your eggnog. It worked too well
2. You were up six days straight trying to get tab A into slot B for little Johnny’s gift
and
1. You took Ambien, and slept-ate the entire Christmas turkey the night before
Bonus...
You contracted a rare case of Rip Van Winkle Syndrome
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