Monday, December 22, 2014

Top Ten reasons you know an economic crisis has hit Russia

10. They start cutting canned beluga caviar with albacore tuna.

9. The Ruble is devalued and becomes a new currency, the Rubble

8. They begin to get aid from North Korea

7. Putin annexes Switzerland for Swiss chocolate reserves

6. They sell Vladivostok to the Chinese for $26 dollars in beads.

5. They trade Crimea to the Ukraine for a rundown pier on the Black Sea

4. Europe taunts them to cut off oil. They can’t afford to.

3. Mummified Lenin body parts start appearing on Ebay.

2. They import decrepit 1950’s cars from Cuba for their head-of-state vehicle fleet.

And….

1. Ads for Amazon, Apple and Harbor Freight Tools appear on Russian TV

Bonus

At the G-20, Putin breaks down and laughs manically like Jeff Bezos

They beg for everybody to like them on Facebook






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