Why you might (or should) be a germophobe like me

10. Your white cell count is smaller than Powerball Lottery odds

9.  Your eyeballs play ping-pong conjunctivitis. A tournament

8.  You buy antiseptic gel in gallon jugs. By the case

7.  You get pneumonia when someone sneezes. In China

6.  You see a fifty dollar bill on the shopping mall floor. And keep walking

5.  You industrial steam your undies. Hourly

4.  You put in a carwash. To clean your kids

3. You own stock in Clorox. And Safety Cleen

2, You wear sani-booties. To bed.

And….

1. Your home is surrounded by a moat of black holes

Bonuses:

Your  idol is bubble boy

You bathe in copper pennies. Twice an hour