10. Pretend you are a svelte elephant.
9. Develop severe myopia. You won’t be able to see that far.
8. Wear disguise galoshes 24/7.
7. Become obese. Then the rest of your body will match.
6. Turn c-clamps into compression socks.
5. Hang by your ankles like bat while sleeping.
4. Take Chinese foot binding to the next level.
3. Put on spats a la Scrooge McDuck.
2. Never come out of the water.
And…
1. Go back to ancient medicine. Try leeches.
Bonus
Try a Papal foot washing with meat tenderizer
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